Giving Up

There are two things in which I have given up on.

OK I have been trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to do with my life. Well it hasn't gone well cause I am in the same place that I was when I started all this. So I am giving up. I am going to do my best to just sit back and let God tell me when he wants to. I know that's what I should have done from the beginning, but I am hard headed and thought that if I just ask then he would let me know right then.

The problem is that, it may not be His time to tell me. Or maybe He needs to teach me something first. Or maybe I am wanting to do somethings for the wrong reason and I have the wrong thing in mind. Maybe its all these things, I have no idea. I just know that I haven't gotten an answer and it was driving me crazy.

So I am giving up until He says something to me. I am going to just live like nothing has even changed really. I want so bad what God wants for me.
I hope that I am not so stupid as to mess up something great that God is trying to do in my life.

The other thing I am giving up on, I think, is going to the doctor. I am not scared or afraid to go, I am just so stubborn that I won't go. Instead I just get the cheap stuff at Walgreen's to help me through the sickness. Well this is the second time this month that I have been sick.

So I think tomorrow, after school, I am going to the doctor to see what they say. Maybe they can give me something that makes me well forever, that would be great. All I know is that my mom keeps bothering me about going and I am getting tired of sounding weird every time I talk to some one at work.